It's quite amazing to me...the power of this blog. I've shared so much of my life here on these virtual pages. I've allowed so much of myself to be exposed here. Sometimes, it's a conflict for me because this blog is so interwoven with me as a person..as well as my professional life. Last year, though, I made a vow to myself that I would continue to be myself here on Running With Tweezers. The stories that I share here are part of who I am. Part of my evolution as a person. They make me stronger and better, in all aspects of my life.
In a few posts as of late, I've eluded to major life changes going on...but I've been too afraid to talk about them. Afraid because a big part of me wanted to take the "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman with a Blog" approach (which so isn't my style). Afraid because I felt embarrassment and silliness. Afraid because it was so personal. Not anymore.
Remember me talking about The Boy? He disappeared. Vanished. The last words I heard from him were I love you. Never to be heard from again. I know he's alive...at least in the physical sense. He left me and our relationship with not so much as a goodbye. A magical year of closeness, love, trust, humor, and adventure...dismissed without a word. To say that I was shell-shocked and stunned would be an understatement. I've done my grieving, believe me.
That was weeks and weeks and weeks and weeks ago.
Now I sit...on the deck of the vacation house I've been at for the past week. There were little random raindrops falling on me as I wrote this post in my head, dotting my glasses. Those weren't tears. No tears for the chickenhearted. No fury. No anger. No vengeance. What I feel is pity. Sadness. I feel sorry for him. I look at this life of mine - every aspect of it - and it is pretty glorious. Relationships end. People and feelings change - it happens all the time. That wasn't the hard part. It's the disrespect for the time we spent together and for me as a person. It was the ultimate in cowardice and deception, two things I have no room nor tolerance for in my life. Ever.
This week that I have spent away - after all of the drama and several weeks of crazy work schedules - has just reinforced what I already know and have known all along: my world is such a wonderful place. To be invited into my life - and the lives of the people I know - and be able to share it is a prize. I look at the photos I've taken in just the past few months...all of the experiences and memories I've made in just that short amount of time...and I am truly blessed. Truly.
So this post isn't about him. This post is about me. Those words are now better spent describing the joyous and wonderful things in my life, most important of which are the people I know. I leave my vacation with my heart full, thanks to my dear friends who were with me, either in body or spirit - Stephen, Alex, Tony, Mike, Michael, J-ko, Deana, Clint, and Susy & Martin. The support of my new network of friends and colleagues that I have made through this blog: Kalyn, Barbara and Bron and many others. To everyone that takes the time to read this blog and share in this journey with me, thank you.
I will be back in Atlanta tomorrow, rejuvenated from a long couple of months. I'm inspired to no end. I'm running again. Taking lots of photos. Feeling joy and happiness. As much as I have loved being here in St. George Island, I look forward to being back with my friends and putting all of this positive energy to good use...some of which will be channeled into this blog. I can't wait to share this strength that all of you - whether in real life or virtually through this blog - have given me. I can't thank you enough.
Also, thank you to Victoria who let me use her photo in this post. I couldn't have expressed it any better myself. She makes rockin' jewelry...you should check her Etsy profile out here: Experimental.